Creating a new relationship is always fraught with challenges and excitement. Newfound love and lust can be such a driving force that other factors might be conveniently pushed to the periphery as good times and great sex take precedence.
But eventually, your little differences are going to catch up and become something that needs to be discussed. These issues could be small and simple, like leaving lights on or picking up socks or the toilet seat issue. Or, you might look past issues that have actual meaningful significance. And if those issues are related to sex, then stress and tension could take over and make your lives difficult.
One of the sex-related issues that can become quite the situation to deal with is the timing of sex. No, not a “let’s have it right now!” problem, but rather what time of day is most preferred. Because some people absolutely love sex at night... and others love sex in the morning. And sometimes, those two desires are hard to reconcile.
Night time?
Of course, there are benefits and difficulties to both. In the context of current society, night time sex has definitely taken centre stage because it offers the most time for sex and is the most likely time everybody is home for sex. You have the opportunity to really engage each other, have long and sexy foreplay and then take things wherever feels best. At the same time, night time sex can be hampered simply by virtue of being at night, which is usually the end of people’s day when they are tired from work/kids/chores/hobbies/friends and everything else that can’t happen during the day. Sometimes it is easier to just fall asleep.
Morning?
Morning sex also has its pro’s and cons. As most people do need to get ready and go to work or tend to kids, morning sex is most often spontaneous - which can be very sexy and exciting. Getting caught up in the moment can be one of the hottest types of sex! Plus, testosterone runs high in men in the morning, making them horny and ready to go. But, again, when you think of the timing of morning sex, you run into difficulties related to both timing and personal sexual preparation. If you do have to chase kids or get ready for an important meeting at work or just can’t function without your first cup of coffee, then morning sex is probably not your thing. Or, if you do require foreplay to become properly turned on and ready, if you’re going to be rushed, then adding to the morning bustle is not a great idea.
Mix it up
So, if you find yourself in a relationship that does deal with this situation, think about compromise. For the one who likes morning sex, plan ahead for some great morning weekend sex. Pick days where you won’t have obligations tugging at you until afternoon. And for those who want to get sexy in the evenings, plan ahead to some evenings where you’ll be able to forget about the dishes and the laundry and instead head to the bedroom a little early.
Jon Pressick is the sex community's international gadabout and Cherry Banana's writer in residence. An award-winning sex writer and blogger, Jon is the editor of the critically-acclaimed Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1. He is a frequent contributor to Cherry Banana with a range of sex-related content and his writing has appeared in numerous magazines and books, as well as all across the Internet. Jon is also a co-host and producer of the long-running sex radio show Sex City. You can keep up with his many sex-related articles here at Cherry Banana or at his own blog, Sex in Words.
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